Dear Opus and Roscoe,
I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. About a year ago, my humans brought home a baby and I have slowly had to adjust to this extra person in our house. Well now she walks and talks and wants to climb all over me. I know I can't hurt her or my humans will be mad. She likes to lay all over me and chase me whenever she can. I have included a picture of her laying on top of me. Do you have any suggestions for putting up with this human?
(Evidence: exhibit A- The human in this video is not saying "shoot her" as in with a gun, but rather "shoot her" as in "take the picture").
We hate to sound mean, but if you would have spaid and neutered your humans when you first got them, this wouldn't even be an issue. It is very important to be a responsible human owner. It is too late to look back now, as the damage has been done. We are afraid to tell you that you are simply stuck with this tiny human and will have to deal with it as best you can. If you, in any way, act out against this little, love-monster, it will surely be the quickest way to get kicked out of the house. This is a delicate situation and must be dealt with carefully. What you must remember is that the little human, though it may be annoying at times, is just in love with you. And rightfully so, you are a beautiful cat. Since she hasn't learned how to express her feelings better, the only way she can tell you she loves you is by showing you, hence the "snuggling". Maybe if you look at it from this perspective, it won't seem so bad. As for the chasing, she is just after another hug. Once in a while stop and let her have it. It isn't easy living with humans, but it is something that we must do. As life changes (like a tiny human comes to live in your house) as must we. It is important to remember that just because there is a baby in the house doesn't mean that your humans don't love you. There is plenty of love in their hearts for the both of you.
Best of wishes,
Opus and Roscoe
Come back next Monday for another edition of "Dear Opus and Roscoe".