Monday, October 22, 2007

Monday Morning Advice

This week's "Dear Opus and Roscoe" email comes to us from our friends Victor and Bonnie from Victor Underfoot and Bonnie Tabbycat. Victor writes:

Deer Opus an Roscoe,
My sisfur "Bonnie" an I get a little stinky goodness cat food efurry day, but Mom doesn't gif us the whole can, so sumtimes the food's reely cold an kinda old when she gifs it to us. How can we confince her to give us the whole can at once? If she insists on safin it, do you know anyfing she could do to make it taste good again? Cuz it's not nice to haf stinky goodness turn into stinky badness.

We already tried turnin up our noses an askin fur sum new food, but she don't go fur that.

Victor Tabbycat

Dear Bonnie and Victor,
The best solution would be to wait for your humans to leave the house and then help yourself to the remaining can of cat food. Though God gave us cats the gifts of great intelligence, wondrous beauty and acrobatic skills, he did NOT give the gift of thumbs. That means that we are, at times, at the mercy of our less-than-equal humans. The obvious answer is to make so much noise that your humans will eventually give in. The problem with that is it might backfire. When we have had kitchen protests, it usually ended with us being thrown out of the kitchen.

If your humans insist on giving you day-old-cat-food, perhaps you could at least reach a compromise. Have your human mix in some fresh cat food with old the stuff to help liven it up a bit. Something else that might help is to toss the old cat food in the microwave for a few seconds. You know how we cats love our food on the slightly warm side. Do be sure to tell your humans to be careful though, you don't want to get your cute, kitty tongue burned. If they warm your food up, they should stick their finger in it to be sure it isn't hot; just make sure they wash their dirty human hands before touching your precious meal.

If humans understood what it means to be a cat, they would never try to shove day old food onto us. Living with humans isn't always easy, but with a few compromises we can all learn to live together happily.

Best of luck.
Opus and Roscoe

If you would like some advice on how to care for or deal with your humans, please write to Opus and Roscoe at Address emails as "Dear Opus and Roscoe" and then look for their response in their Monday morning advice column.


Sassy Kat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Also they might consider the smaller cans too. This way if the humans insist upon starving them, at least they get fresh food for a little bit--and I am talking the tiny tiny cans!

Tara said...

Mom only buys stuff in the little cans, and then splits it for us. Even trying the tricks you mentioned, we still stick our noses up at it.


Sassy Kat said...

I know what Bonnie & Victor are talking about. Day old food is never the same as the first day it is served, something gets lost. I was thinking that since there are two cats they might have a better chance of making protests because when both make a lot of noise and the humans get mad, well come on they can't catch both at the same time. Just alternate who gets chased and who keeps up making the noise. Hope you don't mind that I added an idea, you guys give good advice.

Daisy said...

That is some very good advice! I am stuck eating prescription foods because of my bladder stones. It takes me 3 days to finish one can, because I also eat crunchies.

Victor Tabbycat said...

Those are good answers. Insteada puttin the food in the microwave, Mom thot of heatin water an usin that to warm our foods. It doesn't werk ALL the time cuz, you know, we's cats!

She says the smaller cans cost more per ounce an she has to buy 7 purr week insteada... um... 3.5? But aren't we worth a few more cents per ounce?

Bonnie Underfoot said...

I've been rejecting most of the canned food lately, new or old. It's been sub-par. Of course, piggy Victor will eat anything, so I let him finish my bowl while I give the woman my most neglected look. Of course, when her back is turned I eat the crunchies. You boys have some great ideas for retraining humans. Thanks!

Shaggy and Scout said...

We try to remind mom to take it out of the fridge half an hour before she gives it to us. Its usually pretty edible.

Cat Naps in Italy said...

To all of you lucky enough to eat the stinky goodness, be happy. Our humans almost NEVER feed us the good stuff. They have tried a few times, but we eat it so fast we make ourselves sick. Plus it doesn't help that Roscoe spends the rest of the night letting out stinkers. I guess our bellies just can't handle the good stuff so we get stuck with the hard cat food. Ugh!

Cheysuli- Smaller cans is a great idea! Why didn't we think of that?

Tara- Sometimes it is hard being a cat, isn't it? When will the humans learn?

Sassy- You would think two cats could get the upper hand, but it is hard as we live with two humans. Good idea for you cats living with just one.

Daisy- We hope your bladder stones are better with you prescription food. I hear pasta is good for bladder stones. Maybe you should come visit us in Italy!

Victor- You and Bonnie are worth it even if it cost a dollar more! Hope you can work this problem out with your human. Thanks so much for writing and being a part of our advise column.

Bonnie- Victor sounds like my brother Roscoe. He will eat ANYTHING while I have much higher standards. What will we do with those guys?

Scooby, Shaggy and Scout- That is a great idea! Of course it is so cold in Italy right now that we think the fridge just might be warmer! No one ever told us that Italy could get so cold!

Opus and Roscoe

G and G A said...

Opus & Roscoe-I am so proud that you are my grandkitties. You two have good advice to share with others in need. I hope that you reach out and solve questions to those that need answers.
A big hi to all of your fellow cats. They are all invited to stop by my place.

Angel MoMo and Charlotte said...

Hi guys,
Having worked hard at your consulting agency I think you both deserve something nice. How about heading my way for some pizzas, paella and German sausages. No, it's OK, SS didn't cook them, you wouldn't want to eat her cooking!

Victor Tabbycat said...

We only started gettin stinky goodness efurry day when the vet suggested Cosequin for Bonnie (it's glucosamine for cats). She seemed stiff, an it helps wif that. Mom adds the contents of one capsule to Bonnie's food each day. But the only time she knows zactly which food Bonnie eats is when we get Stinky Goodness; whichefur bowl hits the floor firstest is MINE. She puts the Cosequin in the second bowl, fur Bonnie. Dat's the only way she can be sure Bonnie eats it. Acourse, if Bonnie snubs her food, I get it. An my joints don't ache, eifur! :-)

lordjaders said...

Grrreetings to you Kittalians,

I saw yourrr comment on Mr. Hendrix bloggie and thought I'd say hello. My name is Jade, I am a gurrrl cat, and I am a silverrr tabby. You can visit me at my bloggie too. My lady bean's family on herrr mother's side came frrrom Norrrtherrrn Italy many yearrrs ago. I hope you arrre having a nice experrrience therrre.

Purrrs to you both,


The Fluffy Tribe said...

furry good advice ~The Fluffy TRibe

Karen Jo said...

You give good advice, Opus and Roscoe. I hope it helped Bonnie and Victor with their problem.

Sassy Kat said...

Glad you can come to my Halloween party on Sunday. See you there. Hope you bring some friends with you. The more the merrier

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

KC said...
O, hi there.
We's usually don't haf any leftovers, but if ur's beans dee-cide to heat it, remember the purrfect temperature is that of a freshly killed mouse! yum yum.
love Lord Jaders "Kittalians", too clever. My Mommy ML's Mom was from Sicily 'n hers Dad was half Italian an half Austrian.
Purrrs, KC

Forty Paws said...

Oh yes. We make our Maw nuke our cold stinky goodness for a few seconds so it is mouse temperature. Very good advice.

Luf, Us