Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Remembering Roscoe: One Year Later

There are days when I think to myself "wow, it has been a year ALREADY?". Then there are days when I think "wow, it has ONLY been a year?". I don't understand how it can feel like Roscoe has just died while feeling like he has been gone forever, both at the same time.

My husband says that Roscoe is still here in our home. That he can see Roscoe's tail just behind the corner. That he feels as if Roscoe is taking a nap under bed, like he enjoyed doing so often. These types of thoughts seem to be enough for my husband. That if you can think of Roscoe still wandering our halls at night, it will keep the pain of losing him at bay.

My husband is right to think such things. Roscoe is here with us, just not in the way I want him to be. I want to pick him up and feel his soft fur on my skin. I want to gaze into his loving green eyes. I want to hear the meow that woke me up so many times in the middle of the night. I want Roscoe here with me in the physical sense.

Roscoe was a character. From the first time I met him on Christmas day in 1995 till the end of his life, Roscoe's personality was unchanged. As a kitten he was loving, clumsy, boisterous, funny, talkative, playful, open-hearted, and sweet; exactly how he was later in life.

Unlike his brother, Roscoe wouldn't let you pick him up for a snuggle whenever you wanted. He snuggled only on his terms when HE wanted to snuggle. Of course that made it all the more special when he would curl up on your lap.

Roscoe didn't like to be cold. So in the winter months, when our house would turn into a refrigerator in spite of working radiators, he would bury himself under our down filled blankets. Another way he kept warm was by making himself a bed on the top of my head. I lost count of the number of times that I would wake up in the night to Roscoe snuggling down on my pillow, his front paws dangling down into my face. I always felt so much love from that cat as I fell back to sleep with the warmth of his body on my head.

I refer back to something that I read in a book called "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It is a saying that gives me great comfort whenever a loved one is lost, human or furry.

"As long we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."

Roscoe, all the love you created is still here in our home. You have died without ever really going away. And if I close my eyes and try really hard, I too can see your tail just behind the corner.

Sei sempre con me.....


Gemini and Ichiro said...

It is hard to believe it's been a year. What a wonderful tribute to Roscoe. Our thoughts and purrs today.

Jans Funny Farm said...

What a wonderful way to remember Roscoe.

Cyndi and Crystal are both head cuddlers in the winter. Whichever gets there first. We do our part to keep Jan's head warm.

Purrs for all of you today. And a smile.

Alastriona, The Cats and Dogs said...

Roscoe will live forever in our hearts. It seems like only yesterday he was off on adventures with all of us. ~S,S,C & F

PS: If you are not to sad to come we would love to see you at MoMo's party.

The Cat Realm said...

We are all crying. Yes, he will always be there, and yes, we will always miss him. And no, the thought of him and Anastasia having fun at the bridge does not console us.
We who stay will always hurt for those who left. Two years and some days later the pain of life without Anastasia is still as bad as back then. Just not as often...
Death is a terrible foe.

The Cat Realm said...

You and Ollie should come to Momo's party - Roscoe would sure want that!

Sassy Kat said...

What a beautiful tribute to Roscoe. I don't know who was the luckiest, you having him in your lives or him having all of you in his life. I know his love for you and your family was as great as your love for him. He is never far away. He is forever in your hearts.
Miss Roscoe bunches.

G and G A said...

The tears won't stop going down my face as I read this beautiful tribute to our sweet grandkitty. Roscoe was so full of life and brought so much joy to all who were lucky enough to know him. As you I cannot believe that it has been a year since he has left us but on the other hand seems like yesterday. He will always have a special place in our hearts and there isn't a day that he isn't thought of in our home.

We are so glad that we got to spend six weeks last summer seeing him and getting reacquainted with him again.

Peace will forever be there for Roscoe and some day all will be together.

The Crew said...

What a lovely tribute to your beloved Roscoe.

Carolina Cats said...

Sending many hugs & purrs as you remember Roscoe. I'm so glad you have such lovely memories of him. The pictures are especially wonderful too.

Lots of love, hugs & purrs,
The Carolina Cats & mom Nora

Asta said...

I hope you continoo to see Woscoe's tail..and feel him fuwwevew in youw heawt..
I know it's not the same as holding him , ow snuggling, ow smelling,but it's is weal.
We miss him too,a dnthink of him vewyoften.
Hole each othew close and tweawsoowe each moment. It's all too showt a time
sad smoochie kisses

Sally Ann and Andy said...

It's been four years since my sister Sylvie died, and my mommy still misses her every day.

Anonymous said...

A beautiful post in loving remembrance of a beautiful cat.

I can relate to so much of it. I completely get the "how it can feel like Roscoe has just died while feeling like he has been gone forever, both at the same time" ~ for I feel like that too over the loss of my beloved lilac point siamese cat, Henry, who died in 2004. It's hard to understand it, isn't it? So near, and yet so far ...

Sometimes I feel Henry is around too ~ I sense his presence, or see a glimpse. Yet, he never lived in this home ~ we moved away from the home he lived in in 2006. His ashes are here though ~ in a beautiful cherished casket near my desk. I stroke it as I walk passed.

A friend sent me the words below today ~ because the 9th of September would have been my beloved father's birthday (he died in 2006 of cancer) ~ so I thought I would share them with you:

It's hard to say goodbye
to the ones we love.
But, remember them
at their happiest,
and let those memories
comfort you and keep
their spirit alive.


And of course ~ re-reading them now, I realise that is exactly what you are doing; keeping dear little Roscoe's spirit alive.

Blessings to you all.

From Milo and Alfie's Mom.
The boys send purrs.

Charlemagne and Tamar said...

Such a nice way to remember Roscoe. He was a wonderful boy and we're sure that he's still watching out for all of you from the Rainbow Bridge waiting patiently for the day he's reunited with you.

Sending purrs of comfort,
Charlemagne and Tamar

Just Ducky said...

Has it been a year already? Like you I think he is right here. Getting ready for feetsball season.

Islay said...

Roscoe was a sweet kitty and like to think he is smelling flowers with all of his friends, and Charlie and Higgins. Such beautiful pictures you've posted - I fine tribute for a big little cat.

Sorry we missed seeing you in Italy - we spent a beautiful few days in Tivoli, escaping the heat in the mist of the fountains!

bunny kisses,
Lovey (for Charlie's DogBlog)

Angel MoMo and Charlotte said...

I can't believe that it has been a year. Every time I see Opus, Roscoe IS here. He was with us in all the adventures since and I could never visit without expecting to see Roscoe. He was a wonderful kitty; yes, definitely one with character.

Just Ducky said...

Feetsball has started, The Colts won!

TAILS of TANKENE said...

I share your pain at losing Roscoe. My beloved angel Sly died last Oct. 7th from Lymphoma and to this day I look at his picture and tell him how much I miss his funny ways! Sparkles

Margaret Cloud said...

Sometimes it is hard to let go, love lingers on forever for someone or something we have loved dearly. Roscoe was so well loved, I can tell. I had tears in my eyes reading that beautiful tribute to him. I feel the same about my Melody, and some days I think I see her going through the house or feel her rub my leg or jump up on my bed at night. Your husband is right Roscoe is still in your home/ Have a great week.

Christine and FAZ said...

What a lovely tribute to a lovely boy. FAZ

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

Beautiful tribute to Roscoe.

Angel Gracie=^o.o^= said...

I was looking through your place and came across this beautiful tribute to Roscoe. What a sweet heart he is. I wish I got to know him but know that someday I will.